Anniversary

On the 22nd of January was my marriage anniversary, we have been married for 5 years and together for 6. I remember that day well, it was Tuesday morning  my husband woke up and said "honey lets get ready to go to the court house as quickly as possible, I will tell my boss that I will be a couple hours late for work"  it was one of the coldest days of the season,we went to get our marriage certificate and they told us there was a minister there in case we wanted to officiate it right then, we thought we might as well and then and there we got married, he dropped me off at the house and went to work. I never wanted a big wedding, I love going to weddings but I never could see myself walking down an aisle with a white dress, I liked the idea of it, most girls do, choosing the dress and inviting everyone to celebrate with me in a beautiful setting, the party after, but when I really thought about it I couldn't see myself doing it, so it was never my dream. However up early going to the court house without a stitch of make up wearing as many clothes as I could to stay warm and hurrying up so my husband could get to work was also not my idea. In any case its the day we signed the paper so it has some meaning but we were already "married" before that.

      The day I consider my anniversary is the 17th of December, that was the day 6 years ago that we decided we were officially together, it was snowing outside and we were in a hotel in Illinois where I was visiting my dad and family and Maurizio flew in over the weekend to see me. I had met him almost a month before in a mutual friends karaoke birthday party, this friend has been my friend for as long as I can remember and he was on a mission to find me a boyfriend and knowing how picky I am he knew it was a challenge, he had told me about Maurizio one night "he's a super nice guy, truly a good man and he is taller than you (a must and a challenge in Peru), he has been my best friend, but he doesn't live here, he was married and now is divorced" my first reaction was "yeah I wonder why he is divorced, there must be a reason" anyway he didn't live there so I discarded it as one of the many things my dear friend would say, this was many months before but my friend was very sure I would like him, I appreciated his effort and thought it was nice of him to be concerned but in my mind I was already on my way to Europe to study medicine after I finished culinary school.   Then on the 19th of November he invited me to his birthday party, anyone that knows me knows I'm not always the first to jump to a party opportunity it was so stressful for me to get dressed and it was late at night I had to study and be up early the next morning to do my practical hours, but he is my good friend and after my friend and roommate Paola convinced me I went, I didn't take great pains to look great but I did remember thinking I was going to meet someone that night-it was just a fleeting thought.  There were a few other friends at the Karaoke  I don't sing at all and never before have I sung in a Karaoke but I did that night with Paola just one song and then my friends wife came and told me "Alito invited his friend Maurizio to come and see you, he is arriving later so don't leave early" I laughed and thought well I won't leave early but because I didn't want to leave my friends party, I didn't see much point in meeting Maurizio.  When he walked in, I know people think people make these things up but honest to God I saw him and felt I was supposed to be with him. I'm very shy but I thought I was being super outgoing and sociable and later I found out he thought I was standoffish and uninterested, imagine if I was being my normal self. We went dancing after and he seemed to be paying attention to everyone else except me almost on purpose I  went home and thought "what the hell is wrong with me, its not true that people don't get near me because I'm standoffish, here I was making a huge effort and he was avoiding me, how could I have been wrong about him". I did feel so discouraged that night, something was wrong with me that I couldn't put my finger on.  Later on that week my friend said that Maurizio was having his birthday party in a restaurant and invited all of us to go I thought  "no way I'm going" he was probably inviting me because since he didn't want to invite everyone else except me, that was rude and since he was such a nice guy he was just being polite. I told my friend I wasn't going to go he told me "he really likes you, he specifically asked if you were going and to make sure you were invited" seemed pretty strange and I wasn't convinced, in the end my friend Paola convinced me because she said she didn't want to go alone and I was always looking for excuses to stay home etc.so I went.

     I was sitting at a table with about 15 other people and he was standing in a crowd of people laughing and talking, he saw me and came and sat next to me and asked me if I wanted anything and we started talking, we were together for the rest of the night and from then on. We went to a pub later on and while we were dancing he asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner with him, and for the first time in my life I said yes and I didn't feel weird about it. I thought he wasn't going to call  and I was already sure I wasn't going to be playing those  hard to get games with anyone,  call not call-keep you guessing and waiting etc. if he was going to do that, he could forget it I was not the woman for him at least not at that time. He never did that, he called me the next day and invited me to a movie on Sunday-my negative self was thinking he probably had second thoughts and invited me to a movie so he wouldn't have to go through a dinner with me, but no, we went out to the movie and then for a drink and on Tuesday we went out for dinner. I was in the middle of finals and was a bundle of nerves,  and I was worried he would call me when I was taking a test and would think I was ignoring him, I had the most basic phone at that time and I couldn't text on it, but that didn't happen.  We went out again on Thursday, this time to see some mutual friends at a restaurant, I was wondering if he didn't want people to know we had come together or what the deal was but he walked in holding my hand and sat right beside me and asked what I wanted to order, he was so sweet. He was going back to Virginia that weekend and he was trying to change his ticket to leave a day later but couldn't. He would call me every day and got me a new phone so we could chat during the day.

That Christmas I had already planned on visiting my Dad and family in Illinois and he flew in twice to see me and then I went to Virginia to visit him before I went back to Lima. That is when we decided we were officially together, he was still working in Virginia and I had to finish my studies but because of work he would end up coming to Peru every couple months and I went up on my vacation so I ended up seeing him often and we always talked every day.

I had all my imaginary "hoops" for him to jump through, the first time he came to pick me up I was thinking that if he was late that was like  minus 5 points, Peruvians are notoriously late, something I have never been able to get used to, it bothers me so bad when people are late and worse when they don't see any problem with being 5 min late for me on time is 5 minutes early. So I was mentally prepared but I knew it was going to be hard for me to deal with, he was supposed to be there at 3:00 pm and of course I was early and went down and there he was, 10 minutes early waiting for me in my apartment lobby-I don't think he realized how many points he scored by doing that.

When we were driving to the movies, he didn't cuss or get frustrated. Anyone that has driven in Peru knows that it takes an amazing amount of self control to not "lose it" when you drive.

He was honest and upfront, right away he told me about his divorce and what happened without making himself the victim or sounding bitter, and he was open about everything else not trying to make himself something that he wasn't, it was very easy to trust him.

He never said he would call me and didn't, and didn't try and play a hard to get game with me. I wasn't at that stage in my life where I wanted to play that game, so thankfully he never tried that tactic.

Those are just a few of them, I can't imagine a more perfect match for me. When I went to his apartment it was impeccable, I checked all the little corners and crannies all super clean and organized, and he told me "there are Clorox wipes under the sink if you need them"- a man after my own heart, ha.  He is the love of my life, it is true that good things come to those who wait, he certainly was worth the wait. We agree on all the important things, of course we have disagreements and there are times when I get very impatient and testy and he gets in a bad mood but in the end I can't imagine being with anyone else, he is truly my soulmate.

    I am still owed a proposal, I have never gotten and official  one. I realized that months after we were living together, we somehow just decided that we were going to be together, that was fine for a while but after thinking about it I realized that while a big white wedding was not so important to me a proposal is. Apparently its coming sometime. Its okay if things go in a different order as long as they happen.