memoirs for my daughters

On the 22nd of January was my marriage anniversary, we have been married for 5 years and together for 6. I remember that day well, it was Tuesday morning  my husband woke up and said "honey lets get ready to go to the court house as quickly as possible, I will tell my boss that I will be a couple hours late for work"  it was one of the coldest days of the season,we went to get our marriage certificate and they told us there was a minister there in case we wanted to officiate it right then, we thought we might as well and then and there we got married, he dropped me off at the house and went to work. I never wanted a big wedding, I love going to weddings but I never could see myself walking down an aisle with a white dress, I liked the idea of it, most girls do, choosing the dress and inviting everyone to celebrate with me in a beautiful setting, the party after, but when I really thought about it I couldn't see myself doing it, so it was never my dream. However up earl...

Every time I hear Isabella call me mommy my heart warms, now she calls me either "mom" or something that sounds like "mae", she is such a precious little thing. So stubborn and so picky and set in her ways but just precious.  I secretly love it that she wants to come and cuddle with me in the bed, she is doing better and now I usually only have to take her back once and some days she doesn't come at all till 5:00 or 6:00, I have to train her especially with another one on the way, however for now I actually look forward to hearing those little footsteps and then her getting in bed and curling up beside me, she has recently stopped moving so much which is a real plus.   She has started "helping" me do things like match the socks from the laundry and put things in and out of the machine,  and she loves to be useful and tells me "I'm so busy right now",  the other day I was down in the basement printing something while Cami was sleeping upst...

One of the most difficult things for me being a stay at home mom and  having to be in the house all day is the monotony of it. I feel like all day long I'm taking them upstairs and downstairs cleaning up toys and changing diapers and stopping fights, they are at the age where they are playing together more and its the cutest thing but consequently they fight all time, its so hard for Isabella to learn to share and Cami is a real tease she will get the toy Isabella is playing with a run as fast as she can laughing. One of the toys that always causes problems and because of that was hidden till they found it yesterday, are these magnet alphabet letters that I got them a few months ago, I thought it was a great toy they could put them on the fridge and they could learn the abc's- big mistake. Isabella is obsessed with them and wants to put them just so on the fridge, she organizes by colors and letters and loves them but she gets HYSTERICAL when Cami touches one, and of course Cam...

When I tell people that I am a chef I have gotten all kinds of reactions, the most common ones are:  -"Your husband is a lucky man, I bet he has gourmet food all the time"- so not true, he eats almost the same thing every day as I don't have that much time to cook and usually its the easiest thing I can throw together. -"I'm sure your fridge is full of delicious things"- I must have one of the most boring fridges ever, usually just leftover dinner and greens and veggies. -"Oh, you should come over and cook for us, we love good food"- I smile and am praying to God I never have to, its one of the worst things someone could ask me to do, go and cook for someone I don't know that well. -"You are probably dying to open your own bakery"- while I like the idea of having my own place with high quality, fresh delicious food, there is no way I would actually want to open one, I understand the sacrifice that it is, and I don't love it th...

In the house we just recently moved into we have this wonderful little loft that I now wonder how we ever did without. Its just perfect,  right between the rooms and its bright, not too big but big enough, it was one of the deal makers for buying the house, especially since I'm pretty much house bound its  the upstairs area we always hang out it, we set up the TV there and the kids toys, the only thing that is missing is the sofa.         Whenever I hear "we have to buy a sofa" I cringe, my husband does not like shopping for furniture, he won't admit it but he gets in a bad mood, they never have anything that we like, everything is terrible quality or way overpriced, I have to agree its hard to find things that have clean lines and are good quality that are not going to break the bank. We had an experience going to Ashley furniture a while back to try and get a coffee table, we went there because we just needed something simple for our family room, bi...

One of the things that gives me the most joy is seeing my girls with their Dad, they have such a different way of interacting with him than they do with me or anyone else. Isabella seems to think that she has to be  his care-taker and go-between, our meal conversations go something like this: Me: Honey do you want an apple Isabella: Daddy, Mommy is asking if you want an apple? Daddy: Yes, please Isabella: Daddy wants an apple Mommy, are you going to get it for him? Me: Yes Isabella: Daddy, Mommy is getting your apple, you just wait it will be right here. Me: Here is your apple Daddy: Thank you Isabella: Mommy, Daddy says thank you. Daddy do you like your apple? Is it good? Is it super yummy? Do you want another piece? It's a little intense but its really cute, my husband puts up with it pretty well. He is their favorite person to play with, they have our roles very defined, I have to put them to bed and feed them and cuddle with them,  but when they want to do somet...

We eat a lot of vegetables in our house, I pack a vegetable soup for my husband every day for his lunch and then at night we have a big salad as well. Isabella likes salad too and really likes purple cabbage as strange as that sounds,  and right now is going through a carrot phase where she wants carrots all the time, she is sitting here eating carrots and humus for her lunch, she makes sure it is a big carrot, not that little one. Cami is a self declared vegetarian she will not touch any type of meat or chicken even if I blend it into something she spits it out, she loves bell peppers, broccoli, snap peas, and peas-she loves peas, she will eat soup and till recently would eat a few lentils or beans but that's about it oh she loves cheese, she goes to the fridge and points "chi", my husband cringes its one of our differences, he is strictly dairy free and I am for the most part except for hard cheese, I absolutely love cheese after all I am Dutch, I gave it up for a while...

I hate to admit this because I feel it makes me a bad mother but most children's toys gross me out! I mean they really do, like I can't touch them, I have to hold them with a cloth, I'm always cleaning them because I feel they are full of germs they go from the floor to their mouths and then on to some kind of linty surface that rubs off on them, the nylon hair on a doll  and the bally clothes are very difficult for me and most balls I don't know why but I can't handle them, even as a very young child marbles were impossible for me to touch and don't get me started on balloons, I get physically sick if I have to touch one.  Of course every kid has toys and mine are no exception, if only they would be happy with wooden toys and books. A while ago my husband bought them this Little Piggy house, I didn't see what was inside if not I would have boycotted it, but by the time they opened it, it was too late, of course they LOVE it. It was hidden for a while but no...

     Camilla is taking her morning nap, Isabella is here making me all kinds of "foods" one of them is called "makingserts" and apparently I can tell by smelling it???  Every child is born with their personality and she is bossy, its the cutest thing right now but I'd better keep it in check, she stands beside me coaching me in everything I do "sweep faster and better, there is still more dirt there", "mix the beans more",  "look at this huge mess (her toys of course) you'd better come and help clean it up, I still see things lying around", "did you take a shower, did you make sure to clean really well?" I don't consider myself a really bossy person, maybe I am and I don't notice. Its the funniest thing hearing her talk to her dad, who really does not like to be bossed around, she feels its her mission to make sure he is doing everything just right.       I feel like I cooked all day yesterday, and today I als...

       I actually haven't made any new years resolutions for many years, there is nothing worse for me than starting something and then letting it dwindle, I feel untrue to myself.  But this year I think maybe I'll give it a try and cut myself some slack if I can't keep up with them.        I think most everyone puts exercising on the list, and it has to be on mine for sure. I avoid looking in mirror, I don't want to be negative and down on myself I know I had two kids very close together and have not had the possibility of going to a gym of any sort for a couple of years. I'm not fat, I weigh less than I did before I had Isabella when I was actually in shape, but its not muscle weight. I don't know how I will fit it in, I was seeing if maybe my husband wanted to buy some weights for himself and I would take advantage and use them, but my plan did not go well and I almost ruined our New Years eve, we have a gym in our club house so he will g...

I'm here playing with my girls in the morning,  Isabella is playing with her kitchen making me all kinds of foods, and Camilla is bringing me book after  book to read to her- pure happiness. We had a rough night last night, Isabella tried to come to our beds 5 times, which meant one of us usually my husband taking her back to her bed, Cami woke up at around 1:30 crying and continued doing so every few hours last night, I wish I knew what on earth was bothering her and why she is so disturbed at night, she writhes and screams in her sleep, my mom said I was the same so maybe its karma. Its so hard when they can't talk yet and you have to guess what is wrong, is it just her personality? Does something hurt her? Is she cold? Her ears? Her stomach? Or what they usually chalk it up to-her teeth.  I can thank my genes that even with very little sleep I still consider myself a pretty energetic person, I'm tired but I still have energy, so I'm very lucky.      Its...