Lifes passions and explaining the Chef thing
When I tell people that I am a chef I have gotten all kinds of reactions, the most common ones are:
-"Your husband is a lucky man, I bet he has gourmet food all the time"- so not true, he eats almost the same thing every day as I don't have that much time to cook and usually its the easiest thing I can throw together.
-"I'm sure your fridge is full of delicious things"- I must have one of the most boring fridges ever, usually just leftover dinner and greens and veggies.
-"Oh, you should come over and cook for us, we love good food"- I smile and am praying to God I never have to, its one of the worst things someone could ask me to do, go and cook for someone I don't know that well.
-"You are probably dying to open your own bakery"- while I like the idea of having my own place with high quality, fresh delicious food, there is no way I would actually want to open one, I understand the sacrifice that it is, and I don't love it that much.
Then I've gotten the more condescending ones like:
-"A pastry chef, that's nice, so you know how to make cakes and cookies"- I hope I did not study 2 years 5 days a week and some days 10 hours a day to learn to make little cakes and cookies.
I've gotten this too:
-"I was thinking of something like that for my daughter, she doesn't like to study and isn't very good at school so maybe she should become a chef". Not sure if I should take that personally, frankly unless someone absolutely LOVES cooking I doubt they will be any good at it, its not a go to for someone who wants an easy career.
I think my reaction puzzles people because they wonder why I am not more enthusiastic about it, why I am not dying to open my own place. I know most of my friends who are chefs love to cook for people and are always thinking up new recipes and thrive on hearing about how good their food is. I've realized what the problem is, well not the problem as much as the reason, while I like cooking, I'm a good cook and I love good food, I consider myself a foodie, I feel an affinity with food like I understand it-its not my passion and never has been. I'm convinced that if you want to excel at something you have to have a passion for it, and that is extremely true for something like being a chef, the hours are long and irregular usually the pay is not great and you have to be constantly innovating. So why did I study that?
Since I can remember I wanted to be a doctor. I must have been 4 years old because my brother was a baby and I remember thinking that I wanted to be a doctor, when I was about 7 years old I was convinced, I remember plain as day sitting in little room by the kitchen playing with my friends Johan, Jasmine and my brother was there and I was sure I wanted to deliver babies, I didn't know what is was called of course I just knew I wanted to deliver babies. Maybe it was because my friends mom had just had a baby and I LOVED babies I was one of those annoying little kids that is always asking to hold the baby, my mom had stressed how important it was to always have clean hands and clothes and never touch a babies face or hands so at least I was somewhat aware. But I remember since then it was my dream, all my daydreams (and I was constantly daydreaming) I had lots of children and I was a doctor delivering babies. When I turned 12 I got to watch a live birth and it was the most amazing thing ever, from that day on I would do anything to be at another birth and I was fascinated by the whole process from conception to delivery till the baby was a toddler. There was a book in my house one of those childbirth books that explained everything and I read it at least 100 times, at least, and any other book about pregnancy and childbirth I could get my hands on I would read.
Because of different circumstances some beyond my control and some because I should have fought harder for what I wanted, I didn't have the opportunity to go to College or university. At 17 I tried to get into a program in the States but it fell through. I'm happy where I am right now, I love my kids and husband and wouldn't trade them for the world, who knows what would have happened if I would have pursued my doctor dream, I don't like to have remorse over the past there is nothing I can do about that, I am just explaining what happened. In school I never did think I was super smart I compared myself with my peers most of who are extremely intelligent, straight A students and I considered myself average, I know now that it wasn't the problem I just have another way of learning and later on in life I realized that I am intelligent I have a very good memory and I can process information efficiently and quickly and retain what I learn when its something I'm interested in, but I don't test well, I get extremely nervous and go blank no matter how much I study, believe it or not I do much better at an oral or practical exam than I do in a written exam. I did put myself in a box of sorts, its very natural for people to sort of label people and not in bad way but my older sister was considered the singer and show person, my other sister was the smart brainy one, I was the homemaker and practical one and I think I allowed that to hold me back from what I thought I should do and convinced myself that I wouldn't be a good student and hence wouldn't make it through med school. This is not to place the blame, this is just the impression I understand I gave people. I doubt many people knew that I wanted so badly to study medicine and didn't feel that cooking was my vocation.
To make a long story short by the time I felt that I was able to study I was much older, living and working in Chile and I was talking with my friend Carmen and I told her that I always dreamed of becoming a doctor, at this point I thought my best bet at getting into the medical system was to become a nurse but that was good enough for the time being and I started thinking, what is stopping me? Fear of failure for sure but at that stage in my life I felt so frustrated it would not have been the worst thing. I tried to get into a few universities in Chile, but got turned down. I didn't have enough money to pay for university but I thought if I can just get started I will somehow figure it out. I started looking into universities in England and found one in Manchester that I really wanted to get into but the problem was it was outrageous because I hadn't been living in Europe for the past 3 years I didn't get the European price and along with my mom we tried to figure out if I could do it but even with a part time job there was no way I would be able to do it. I tried Holland and they had excellent programs and I could study practically for free but they only had Dutch medical programs,the English ones were not yet developed, I understand a little Dutch but absolutely not enough to study in. I then tried Switzerland, my mom was in the process of moving there and I have relatives there so that was a good option but again there was the language barrier although my French was better than my Dutch. I then tried Peru, again the prices were outrageous because I didn't have the possibility of working part time and making enough for my room and board and medical school and I didn't like the syllabus that much, but the main thing was that I didn't see how I could fund that venture.
I started thinking about what my options were. I have always cooked and I know that its something I could do, there were times when I toyed with the idea of opening a bakery etc. So I thought well if I can't be a doctor right now, I have to do something and studying to be a Chef sounded like the next best thing. I looked into schools and found the Cordon Bleu had a school in Peru, that was the best option because the school is internationally recognized so I could then work anywhere, I felt it was a step in the right direction. I went to Peru and enrolled in the Cordon Bleu. I originally wanted to study gastronomy which is a 3 year course, but after doing my induction classes and figuring out my budget I decided to enroll in the pastry course, in any case pastry is something that requires more technique, I liked that, I felt I could cook well but pastry was more my weak spot and it was 2 years instead of 3 and less expensive. I would finish culinary school and then move to Switzerland because I would have a degree and would be able to get a job while I immersed myself in the French language take some catch up scholastic courses and would go to medical school. The way things looked at that point I didn't see myself getting married anytime soon so I figured if I was going to be a spinster at least I would be doing what I loved, if it took 10 years so be it. I didn't want to tell anyone about my plan, its kind of junky to study something while telling everyone that you are planning on doing something else after. I enjoyed culinary school I did pretty good, and I was kept motivated by the fact it would lead me to be able to do what I always dreamed of. I don't regret going to culinary school at all, it was an excellent experience I learned a lot about cooking and about myself.
While I was in Peru one night at a friends karaoke birthday party I met my husband. He was living and working in the States and had come for a few weeks to visit his family, that story is for another time, after having a long distance relationship for year we decided to get married. By that time I had learned to trust my gut, I knew he was the love of my life so it wasn't a difficult decision and I have never regretted it. I always wanted to have children and a family and that really does have a time limit so I focused on that.
In conclusion, I am happy I studied to be a chef, its something I enjoy and I feel I'm good at and it would have been a very good hobby for me, but whenever I walk into a hospital or clinic I feel that I belong there and I know I would have been an excellent doctor. Maybe one of my children will be a doctor, who knows, in any case I pray they all have the courage and determination to follow their dreams when they get older. This is not meant to be a despondent or remorseful post, I'm not, I was for a time but I'm not now I understand that things happen for a reason, if nothing else to teach us things and help us not make bigger mistakes later. My children fill me with joy and am grateful I have the time to be at home and raise them, so I'm happy now, who knows what will happen in the future.
-"Your husband is a lucky man, I bet he has gourmet food all the time"- so not true, he eats almost the same thing every day as I don't have that much time to cook and usually its the easiest thing I can throw together.
-"I'm sure your fridge is full of delicious things"- I must have one of the most boring fridges ever, usually just leftover dinner and greens and veggies.
-"Oh, you should come over and cook for us, we love good food"- I smile and am praying to God I never have to, its one of the worst things someone could ask me to do, go and cook for someone I don't know that well.
-"You are probably dying to open your own bakery"- while I like the idea of having my own place with high quality, fresh delicious food, there is no way I would actually want to open one, I understand the sacrifice that it is, and I don't love it that much.
Then I've gotten the more condescending ones like:
-"A pastry chef, that's nice, so you know how to make cakes and cookies"- I hope I did not study 2 years 5 days a week and some days 10 hours a day to learn to make little cakes and cookies.
I've gotten this too:
-"I was thinking of something like that for my daughter, she doesn't like to study and isn't very good at school so maybe she should become a chef". Not sure if I should take that personally, frankly unless someone absolutely LOVES cooking I doubt they will be any good at it, its not a go to for someone who wants an easy career.
I think my reaction puzzles people because they wonder why I am not more enthusiastic about it, why I am not dying to open my own place. I know most of my friends who are chefs love to cook for people and are always thinking up new recipes and thrive on hearing about how good their food is. I've realized what the problem is, well not the problem as much as the reason, while I like cooking, I'm a good cook and I love good food, I consider myself a foodie, I feel an affinity with food like I understand it-its not my passion and never has been. I'm convinced that if you want to excel at something you have to have a passion for it, and that is extremely true for something like being a chef, the hours are long and irregular usually the pay is not great and you have to be constantly innovating. So why did I study that?
Since I can remember I wanted to be a doctor. I must have been 4 years old because my brother was a baby and I remember thinking that I wanted to be a doctor, when I was about 7 years old I was convinced, I remember plain as day sitting in little room by the kitchen playing with my friends Johan, Jasmine and my brother was there and I was sure I wanted to deliver babies, I didn't know what is was called of course I just knew I wanted to deliver babies. Maybe it was because my friends mom had just had a baby and I LOVED babies I was one of those annoying little kids that is always asking to hold the baby, my mom had stressed how important it was to always have clean hands and clothes and never touch a babies face or hands so at least I was somewhat aware. But I remember since then it was my dream, all my daydreams (and I was constantly daydreaming) I had lots of children and I was a doctor delivering babies. When I turned 12 I got to watch a live birth and it was the most amazing thing ever, from that day on I would do anything to be at another birth and I was fascinated by the whole process from conception to delivery till the baby was a toddler. There was a book in my house one of those childbirth books that explained everything and I read it at least 100 times, at least, and any other book about pregnancy and childbirth I could get my hands on I would read.
Because of different circumstances some beyond my control and some because I should have fought harder for what I wanted, I didn't have the opportunity to go to College or university. At 17 I tried to get into a program in the States but it fell through. I'm happy where I am right now, I love my kids and husband and wouldn't trade them for the world, who knows what would have happened if I would have pursued my doctor dream, I don't like to have remorse over the past there is nothing I can do about that, I am just explaining what happened. In school I never did think I was super smart I compared myself with my peers most of who are extremely intelligent, straight A students and I considered myself average, I know now that it wasn't the problem I just have another way of learning and later on in life I realized that I am intelligent I have a very good memory and I can process information efficiently and quickly and retain what I learn when its something I'm interested in, but I don't test well, I get extremely nervous and go blank no matter how much I study, believe it or not I do much better at an oral or practical exam than I do in a written exam. I did put myself in a box of sorts, its very natural for people to sort of label people and not in bad way but my older sister was considered the singer and show person, my other sister was the smart brainy one, I was the homemaker and practical one and I think I allowed that to hold me back from what I thought I should do and convinced myself that I wouldn't be a good student and hence wouldn't make it through med school. This is not to place the blame, this is just the impression I understand I gave people. I doubt many people knew that I wanted so badly to study medicine and didn't feel that cooking was my vocation.
To make a long story short by the time I felt that I was able to study I was much older, living and working in Chile and I was talking with my friend Carmen and I told her that I always dreamed of becoming a doctor, at this point I thought my best bet at getting into the medical system was to become a nurse but that was good enough for the time being and I started thinking, what is stopping me? Fear of failure for sure but at that stage in my life I felt so frustrated it would not have been the worst thing. I tried to get into a few universities in Chile, but got turned down. I didn't have enough money to pay for university but I thought if I can just get started I will somehow figure it out. I started looking into universities in England and found one in Manchester that I really wanted to get into but the problem was it was outrageous because I hadn't been living in Europe for the past 3 years I didn't get the European price and along with my mom we tried to figure out if I could do it but even with a part time job there was no way I would be able to do it. I tried Holland and they had excellent programs and I could study practically for free but they only had Dutch medical programs,the English ones were not yet developed, I understand a little Dutch but absolutely not enough to study in. I then tried Switzerland, my mom was in the process of moving there and I have relatives there so that was a good option but again there was the language barrier although my French was better than my Dutch. I then tried Peru, again the prices were outrageous because I didn't have the possibility of working part time and making enough for my room and board and medical school and I didn't like the syllabus that much, but the main thing was that I didn't see how I could fund that venture.
I started thinking about what my options were. I have always cooked and I know that its something I could do, there were times when I toyed with the idea of opening a bakery etc. So I thought well if I can't be a doctor right now, I have to do something and studying to be a Chef sounded like the next best thing. I looked into schools and found the Cordon Bleu had a school in Peru, that was the best option because the school is internationally recognized so I could then work anywhere, I felt it was a step in the right direction. I went to Peru and enrolled in the Cordon Bleu. I originally wanted to study gastronomy which is a 3 year course, but after doing my induction classes and figuring out my budget I decided to enroll in the pastry course, in any case pastry is something that requires more technique, I liked that, I felt I could cook well but pastry was more my weak spot and it was 2 years instead of 3 and less expensive. I would finish culinary school and then move to Switzerland because I would have a degree and would be able to get a job while I immersed myself in the French language take some catch up scholastic courses and would go to medical school. The way things looked at that point I didn't see myself getting married anytime soon so I figured if I was going to be a spinster at least I would be doing what I loved, if it took 10 years so be it. I didn't want to tell anyone about my plan, its kind of junky to study something while telling everyone that you are planning on doing something else after. I enjoyed culinary school I did pretty good, and I was kept motivated by the fact it would lead me to be able to do what I always dreamed of. I don't regret going to culinary school at all, it was an excellent experience I learned a lot about cooking and about myself.
While I was in Peru one night at a friends karaoke birthday party I met my husband. He was living and working in the States and had come for a few weeks to visit his family, that story is for another time, after having a long distance relationship for year we decided to get married. By that time I had learned to trust my gut, I knew he was the love of my life so it wasn't a difficult decision and I have never regretted it. I always wanted to have children and a family and that really does have a time limit so I focused on that.
In conclusion, I am happy I studied to be a chef, its something I enjoy and I feel I'm good at and it would have been a very good hobby for me, but whenever I walk into a hospital or clinic I feel that I belong there and I know I would have been an excellent doctor. Maybe one of my children will be a doctor, who knows, in any case I pray they all have the courage and determination to follow their dreams when they get older. This is not meant to be a despondent or remorseful post, I'm not, I was for a time but I'm not now I understand that things happen for a reason, if nothing else to teach us things and help us not make bigger mistakes later. My children fill me with joy and am grateful I have the time to be at home and raise them, so I'm happy now, who knows what will happen in the future.
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