Finally got to see my little girl

Again, I haven't posted for so long I have lots of catching up to do.  I had my first doctors appointment on the 21st of February-HUGE DISSAPONTMENT! I think most pregnant moms understand the joy of hearing your baby's heartbeat and seeing it squirm around on the ultrasound, it sort of connects you to your baby and makes all the awful sickness seem worth it.  Its my third baby so I know the ropes so to speak, I think I have reasonable expectations when it comes to my doctor, I understand that I am one of many patients and its a lot of routine questions for them but I do expect  them at least to pretend to be interested and make me feel at peace if everything is as it should be. All that to say, I was looking forward to hearing the heartbeat and knowing it was in the right place etc. I get to the office, thankfully my husband came with me as we were informed it would be a two hour visit where we would have an ultrasound, do blood work, see the doctor and discuss what our insurance would cover, I don't know what I would have done with my two kids for so long without his help. The first meetings we had were fine, just going over things and asking a bunch of questions that I've been asked in my other pregnancies, then I go to the room to see the doctor, he comes in barely looks at me let alone asks how I was or how I was feeling, I asked him if he could please not do a pap smear as I had done one not too long ago that was fine and I prefer to not do them when I am pregnant (this is a personal preference for me as sometimes it makes you bleed a little and I just hate the unnecessary scare and frankly I'm not going to do any kind of procedure anyway while I am pregnant, my other OBGYNs understood perfectly and never did it) his response was "oh well" and proceeded to do it anyway-strike one. Then he had this little portable ultrasound device about as big as phone, put it on my stomach for maybe two seconds and said "oh yes, there's a baby there and its moving around", I asked if I could hear the heartbeat and he said "its moving around, there's a heartbeat"-strike two. I was very disappointed, but anyway I  figured we would be going for the actual ultrasound next as I had explained that they could not go by my last menstrual period for my due date, because it was my second period I'd gotten since I had Cami and I was not regular and was sure I ovulated quite a bit later, and I had called twice to make sure I was going to have an ultrasound to measure the baby, as I know that measuring a baby early on ensures accurate dating as after all babies grow at different speeds. His response when I asked if I was going to have the ultrasound next to determine the due date was "nope, they haven't scheduled you, don't know why, Good day, next you go to do blood work". I went out to talk with the lady and they tried to blame me for not scheduling it when there was no way on earth I could guess I would have to schedule it separately  especially when I was told twice that I  was scheduled for an ultrasound to determine my due date in this visit, this is not something I would misunderstand or forget to do. The truth was they made a mistake and instead of trying to fix it and help me get the ultrasound which the doctor could have done with one call he said "well come in another day" and I explained I really can't because my husband can't get so many days off work and I have a two year old and a one year old who I can't guarantee will sit through an ultrasound, again he said "well just do in your next appointment at 15 weeks, won't be accurate but your call"-strike three. Its important for me for them  to know my due date  as I am often late and they had my due date for September 7th, I know they are going to start talking about inducing when I might not even be 40 weeks.  Anyway I was not happy but went on to do my blood work, I was very sick and not able to eat much so have lost a lot of weight, my pressure is a low and I see they are going to draw 6 very big vials of blood, I tried to be brave and sat there, after a while I asked how many were missing as I was starting to feel faint, and the nurse said there were still 4 left, after a little longer I told her I was really not well and she told me that she was going to have to stop because there was no more blood coming out, anyway I started fainting and the nurses came in, I was really trying to keep it together but I couldn't for the life of me, I felt horrible like I had no control over myself, I kept telling myself "you first faint in your mind, don't faint, don't faint" I could hear the nurse in the background "stay with me, breathe ma'am, don't make me give you this ammonium", finally I started throwing up and they took me in a wheelchair to a waiting room to lie down, after a while I got up and the doctor who saw everything didn't even bother to ask if I was okay. I understand that many people faint when they get blood drawn, its not the first time I've fainted either but again, at least feign concern, makes me wonder what he would be like in my delivery room-strike 4.
    Of course, in the car and when I got home I was furious-at my husband-because it was all his fault for being on his phone and not supporting me and I felt alone in there etc, I really know its not his fault he was trying to work so was distracted but still it was not his fault at all and I knew it. I hate being disruptive and making people feel bad and believe it or not I didn't want to change OBGYNs because I didn't want the doctor to feel bad of all things, I don't know why I have that mentality, it must be a self-esteem issue. I was wondering if it was really all in my head and maybe I was exaggerating because I was pregnant so I called a friend of mine, but as I was telling her I realized, its not okay, I don't want to continue with this practice because I don't feel like they are right for me, regardless I'm not comfortable with them and that is reason enough. This might seem very basic for most people but believe it or not for me its one of the first times I have done something like this. Normally I would just tell my awful tale and then just go back and hope it was better and try not to be demanding or rock the boat. This is something my husband always gets on my case about, to give an example I used to go to the gym every day before I had kids, and they had these plastic bags that you could get to put your wet clothes or dirty laundry in, the roll of bags was by the showers so I would always get three on my way out, 1 for my dirty clothes, another for my flip flops and another to put my sneakers in if I wasn't wearing them,  so I had them on top of gym bag while I was drying off and getting dressed, this lady whom I had never met was there and saw my bags on top of my gym bag and I could see her thinking "oh I could use one of those" so she walked over to my bag and took two of my bags, I didn't tell her anything it wasn't a big deal I can just walk over and get more bags, Maurizio was super upset, I thought it was a funny story, but he was so mad at me for not calling her out and standing up for myself, I thought it was exaggerated of him why make a deal over something so dumb but it was the fact that I didn't feel it was necessary to stand up for what was mine that bothered him. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right, I can be upset about something but when it's for me it's extremely hard to stand up for myself, for someone else it's no problem but for myself I don't feel it is important enough, that is something I do not want to pass on to my children because I want them to have enough self esteem to understand that their rights do matter and they matter and people should not infringe on that. All that to say I did change OBGYN practices that same day.
I can't say I love the other one but definitely a step up, of course my due date was not the 7th but the 15th of September.  I went in to have another ultrasound to check the neck circumference because I am older and have more risks, and this ultrasound technician was an absolute angel, just so sweet and kind, everything looked good and I got to finally have a good look at my baby girl moving her arms and legs around. So all is well in the end. Here  is my little nugget, Isabella calls her Valentina :)